Patience, Position Size, and Accepting Reality
One of the biggest obstacles in my trading has been patience. More than once I’ve been within reach of a payout, needing just one more good trade, and that’s exactly when I sabotage myself. I take a position that goes against me almost immediately, and instead of honoring my stop, I move it. I tell myself it will come back. Taking a loss when I’m so close feels unbearable.
Epiphany #1: Exit When the Trade Is Invalid
Today I had a simple realization:
If the price action says the trade is wrong, I should exit — regardless of how close I am to a goal.
That sounds obvious, but in practice it’s incredibly difficult. When I stay in a trade after my own analysis has been invalidated, I’m no longer trading a system — I’m trading hope. The correct move is to get out and wait for the next valid opportunity. Capital preservation is more important than being right.
Epiphany #2: My Real Problem Is Accepting Reality
What I struggle with most isn’t strategy — it’s accepting what the market is doing in real time. I want the trade to work because of where I am in my account, not because of what price is actually doing.
That led me to experiment with smaller, more attainable targets.
The Micro Contract Experiment
On an account that was nearly blown, I had about $250 left on a $50K Apex evaluation. At that point I had to treat it as an experiment. I traded two MNQ contracts, targeting just 24 ticks (6 points) in the direction of the trend, using a fixed maximum stop.
Each win was about $24. My thinking was simple: in a trending market, six points is a very achievable move. Over the course of three hours, with disciplined entries aligned to the trend, I was able to generate about $900.
Was the execution perfect? No. I did add on one spike against me, which isn’t part of a sound risk model. But the key takeaway wasn’t the PnL — it was the realization that meaningful progress can be made with micros when risk is controlled and targets are realistic.
The Position Size Lesson
I then tried to apply the same idea using one NQ mini on another evaluation account. The result was almost immediate damage. That was a powerful reminder that position size changes everything. What is manageable with micros becomes emotionally and financially unstable with minis.
What I’m Taking Forward
- Exits must be rule-based, not emotion-based.
If the trade is invalid, I exit — no exceptions. - Position size must match my ability to follow rules.
If I can’t execute properly at a given size, the size is too large. - Micros are not “small” — they are a scalable path.
Consistency with micros can build both equity and confidence. - Losses are part of the process, not a threat to my progress.
There will always be another valid setup.
This isn’t a finished solution. I still need to build the discipline to accept losses without hesitation. But now I know two things for certain:
- I don’t need to swing for home runs to make meaningful progress.
- Following my rules matters more than how close I am to a payout.
And that shift — from urgency to process — is where consistency begins.